Holding your hand

The smells of the nursing home were different than anything I’ve smelled before. The air was stale. The facility had poor lighting, old, stained hard carpet, and I could hear yelling coming from a room down the hall. Not the pain kind of yelling, but a yell that wanted to be seen and heard. I was scared of the stranger in the bed. I was scared of the answers he would give to my questions. I was scared to embarrass him. I was scared to embarrass myself. 

I remember putting on gloves for every little thing I did in the room, I wouldn’t even hold a patient’s hand without a glove during my first clinical rotation. Come to think of it, I don’t think I held a patient’s hand at all during that first year of nursing school. 

I don’t exactly remember when the shift in my thinking started. But I think it was during my Pediatric rotation. Something about the vulnerability of a sick child’s limp hands is when I realized a patient’s hands aren’t scary.  I realized that the soul attached to that hand, is just like any other soul, wanting to connect, feeling vulnerable and scared, and over 15 years later, I barely put on gloves anymore when I walk in my patient’s room. 

Scientifically, I realize the importance of tactile assessment. being able to hold someone’s hand I can tell temperature, strength, moisture, fluid retention, all of it instantly in one touch or handshake. More importantly, it reminds them that I see them as a human in that bed, it forms a connection with the people I help. Holding their hand and looking them in the eye telling them I’m here to help them today, and having enough confidence in my nursing practice to know that I can. Understanding that, although I might not be able to cure them of their medical ailment, I can help them with my kindness and nursing capability. I can help them with my connection, I can help them with my confidence, i can help them with my advocacy, and knowing they can trust my capability and integrity. 

Every floor can be scary when you first try it out. I posted something on my instagram related to this blog that was meant to be funny because let’s face it, there’s nothing scarier than going onto the wrong floor and having it be absolute chaos.  Humor is a great way for some to defuse a tense uncomfortable feeling and probably why memes are so popular. So I leave you with this, remember that the person in that bed is a soul just wanting help. He or she is looking for a beacon of light as they swim for their lives in an ocean of uncertainty, grieving for the life and time they thought they might have. Hold their hand. Make a connection. Look in their eyes and let them know that today you are their nurse and you're going to help them today. 

I hope this gives you some courage and perspective. 

Have a good shift ;)